Policrook

They Can't Move Forward If
They're Arguing About Gravity.

In the twisted theater of modern politics, where reality bends and contorts like a poorly made balloon animal, a new mantra emerges for corrupt politicians: “Why let reality get in the way of my ambitions?” With that as their battle cry, they wield the powerful weapon of endless debate about settled facts, transforming every logical consensus into a quagmire of confusion. Herein lies a tactic so grotesque and effective, one can only marvel at its insidious tenacity: Bake Your Own Bedlam.

Imagine, if you will, a world where gravity is not a steadfast friend but a contentious topic, hotly debated on the floor of the nation’s consciousness like a pair of overcooked sausages sizzling in a pan. Politicians stake their careers on turning debate into a competitive sport, strip-mining our basic understanding of what is, and instead replacing it with a cacophony of conflicting opinions. “Is gravity even real?” becomes the dizzying chant of the gullible, blissfully unaware they stand at the edge of a reasoned precipice, all because their elected leaders have hijacked their reasoning like a kid stealing their sibling's candy.

This isn’t just mischief; it's masterful manipulation. The first step is to dredge up debates over issues settled long ago. “Climate change? Up for debate!” they loudly proclaim, as if gathering scientific evidence were akin to picking sides in an elementary school squabble. Every point of settled science becomes a tasty morsel to chew on in the court of public opinion, conveniently picked apart until the truth looks more like a collage of half-facts than a fact. When politicians transform the narrative into a dinner buffet of misinformation, the audience, hungry for answers but starved for clarity, gulps it down with wild abandon.

Next comes the delectable art of cherry-picking truths. Picture them serving a platter of half-baked facts alongside fluffy soundbites, urging voters to feast on easily digestible bits of ignorance. Misinformation does not wear a label of shame but is instead presented as an appetizer for the starving masses. A motherlode of scientific consensus boiled down to “but what about the other side?” offers a sugar rush of confusion. Everybody loves dessert, but no one leaves the table wanting the bland reality that accompanies an honest meal.

But wait, the pièce de résistance: ambiguous promises, served hot with a side of sleight of hand! Wrapped in buzzwords slicker than a politician’s smile, these policy ideas look sweet and tempting but are largely airy and insubstantial. It’s like shopping for the latest tech gadget only to discover it’s hollow underneath all the glossy marketing. We all know that “change” is just dressing for a half-baked agenda; the real deal is often sitting lifeless beneath the curtains.

The blame game is where the pot truly boils over. Instead of accountability, the crafty politician looks for scapegoats to redirect their constituents’ fury. When a scandal hits the headlines, don’t you dare take the fall—better to launch a witch hunt far and wide. “They did it!” becomes an incantation, ricocheting off the walls of the political arena. This relentless deflection keeps voters entertained while you, the puppet master, remain in the shadows, twiddling your thumbs and filling your coffers.

Let’s not skip the spicy secret ingredient—fear. Every conspiracy theorist’s best friend, fear fuels the fire of political ambition. Stir a heaping spoon of dread into the pot, and watch as voters scramble for what they perceive as safety, greedily swallowing every unsupported claim you hurl their way. “Your freedoms are at stake if you don’t vote for me!” is just a fancy way to utter, “You need me to protect you from your own irrational fears.” It’s a carnival of terror, where logic takes a backseat and the hybrid offspring of panic and loyalty drives the bus off the cliff.

And repeat, repeat, repeat. Like the worst commercial jingle that festers in your brain, endless repetition is a weapon of choice—one that guarantees your lies are ingrained in the collective memory of the public. By the time voters realize they can’t distinguish truth from fiction, you’ll be jetted off to your next rendezvous with the elite, enjoying champagne while they’re left squabbling over the actual issue at hand.

So, now, my dear reader, you find yourself at the end of this twisted self-help manual for political machinations. The lesson for you, the voter, is this: If you’re caught in a web of confusion woven by those who would rather debate gravity than accept responsibility, know this isn’t harmless banter; it’s a concerted effort to dismantle democracy from within. The real thieves aren’t the institutions themselves; they’re the politicians who infiltrate them with lies, superseding integrity with blind obedience. When faced with the next barrage of noise designed to confuse and distract, remember: clarity requires no debate. Your power is in recognizing the ruse before it’s too late.