Policrook

A PhD Is Worth More in a
Press Release Than a Lecture Hall.

Welcome to the circus of political theater, where the ivory tower is just another prop in a sordid show of sleaze and deception.
Here, every out-of-work professor becomes a carefully distilled brand of human capital—a former educator turned unwitting pitchman, selling their credibility for little more than a sandwich and a wink.
If you’re looking for a way to play the game while your ambitions swirl down the moral drain, this is the playbook.
Ready to acknowledge the true puppeteers of democracy?
Let’s cut the black-and-white ribbons of academia and see the technicolor corruption of political manipulation underneath.
First, let’s unpack the veritable warehouse of ideological zombies the universities produce.
A PhD is not just an academic title; it’s an echo of broken aspirations and unrealized potential rotting away in lecture halls.
These mindless marionettes haunt the campus in search of validation, and here’s where you—the careerist crook—fill their coffers with tokens of praise (read: dollars).
The tragedy of their years spent chasing knowledge is only eclipsed by the mere fact that all it takes to puppet them is a morsel of cash.
Those once-celebrated minds are now begging for a chance to leave behind the debtor's prison of academia.
Once you've lured them in with the siren song of easy cash, they'll rally to your banner like lost sheep following a wolf in disguise.
Their collective thirst for recognition transforms into your political weapon, as they sell their dignity in exchange for a spot on your payroll.
“Look at this crusading intellect!” they’ll proclaim, shoving your polished pandering into the headlines like a turkey stuffed for Thanksgiving.
The irony?
Their academic thunder is nothing more than a whisper, for this “leader” they endorse hasn’t grasped a textbook since flip phones roamed the earth.
Then, the real sleight of hand begins: leveraging their accolades to mask your inadequacies.
“Endorsed by the illustrious Doctor Impressive, PhD!” spells out much more than what your average citizenship certificate could.
They may very well have forgotten how to teach basic economics, but their name adds a shiny veneer to your treachery.
Meanwhile, you slide rubbery policy proposals into the academic ether, disguised as scholarly summits of thought that would make a hangover feel lucid.
“A Comprehensive Approach to Economic Liberation” is just a glittery title on a dumpster fire of ignorance—perfect for an audience too eager to sip the social justice Kool-Aid.
But the pièce de résistance?
When the tide turns and angry constituents come knocking with metaphorical pitchforks, who do you send out to play the part of the stat-savvy savior?
Your little academic soldiers march, blathering on about “data-driven strategies,” while you duck into the shadows like the cowardly empress suddenly caught without clothes.
In this beautiful Orwellian nightmare, they are your shields, donning their caps and gowns to defend your every misstep with statistics they’ve neither comprehended nor contributed.
Still, you don’t want them getting too big for their tattered academic britches.
A starving mind is a pliable mind; fund just enough of their research to keep them ensnared in your unholy agenda.
The moment they begin to believe they deserve better—a home that doesn't double as a library of unpaid debts—they’ll threaten to sever the marionette strings.
Keep those scholars in a haze of dependency, peddling this ‘starving artist’ trope, while hiding behind their backs and plotting your next political conquest.
Congratulations! By the time you’ve turned this desperate sea of academic intellect into your personal entourage of paid cheerleaders, you’ve achieved something magnificent: a cadre of clueless adherents willing to drown in your insatiable thirst for power.
It is here, amidst the melodrama of public discourse, that the true horror of politics rears its head—not the institutions themselves, but the rotten puppeteers who replace integrity with obedient conformism.
So here’s the truth, voter: this isn’t just a satirical reflection; this is your political reality under siege.
The truth is, every day, politicians are scheming to fill our halls of justice and policy with empty suits shouting unearned accolades, like enthusiastic underlings at a consumerist cult meeting.
As you read these lines, recognize that while not all judges, prosecutors, or police chiefs are compromised, relentless politicians will stop at nothing to replace the honest ones with loyal sycophants.
The next time you hear a so-called academic endorsement being bandied about, remember—what’s been fed to you might just be a pack of lies dressed in a shiny academic cape.
Don't let their words be the grounds for your ignorance; demand proof, question motives, and fend off the bandwagon before it rolls over your democratic instincts.
Wake up!